In my last posting, I discussed the importance of listening for the “under story” as we coach people to transformation–what emotions are driving the obvious “outer story.”  Once we pinpoint the “under story” (which may be known to the person or it may have to be “coached out”), we can move to the final phase:  Listening for patterns, “connecting the dots,” as the trite phrase goes, or discovering the pattern of tapestry.

This may seem obvious, but it takes a great deal of energy on the part of the person finding the patterns among scattered bits of story, asides, nonverbal “tells,” sarcastic comments.  People do not tell their “story” in a linear fashion.  If they are being openly expressive, bits and pieces of who they are as it relates to their difficulty come out in starts and spurts.

So the coach must listen and watch intently and intensely.  It is an unknown tapestry until the threads of the tapestry–color, form, design, texture–are captured and slowly put into place.  Insightful questioning, pursuing seemingly unimportant aspects of their “story,” delving deeper into the “Why” of the comment all must be used to pattern of the tapestry.

In my final posting on Coaching to Transformation, I will discuss why the word “Why” may be the most important word in bringing some final understanding to the problem, difficulty, obstruction people want to get past.  Barriers can fall when the question “Why” is used appropriately and judiciously and wisely. 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010 at 8:17 am and is filed under Miscellaneous. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.